February 2008
140 posts
Japanese Puppet Theater + Sin City + + Fruitcake +... →
And a new candidate for best worst film of all time emerges.
Wormholes aren't just for no-peds
3:50 P.M.: Walk past hunched-over old lady in aquamarine jacket as I head into work.
5:30 P.M.: Walk past hunched-over old lady in aquamarine jacket a block past work as I head out on errand. Stop for a second to confirm that it is indeed the same lady. Stop another second to contemplate if she stopped somewhere in the block or had somehow broken time-space continuum.
8:31 P.M.: Still not...
Hmm. Portia de Rossi and Jessica Walter born on the same date. Coincidence, or another astrological sign of A.D. greatness?
"Eagle Vs. Dynamite: No Matter Who Wins, We Lose"
After starring in a film that went so far in imitation as to use roughly the same font as Napoleon Dynamite, Jemaine Clement has ditched the middle man and signed on to Mormon auteur Jared Hess’ next anti-film, Gentlemen Broncos. While my distaste for un film de Dynamite knows little bounds, I must say I think Hess and his writing/life partner could produce a great kids’ movie a la...
January 2008
231 posts
A Rat slays a Wolf. →
Julian Schnabel shows Sean Young how truly to be a... →
“He had something besides hamburger and milkshake, and his body rejected it.”
– Dan, explaining my food poising resultant from ingesting a cheese quesadilla with avocado instead of the usual regiment of USDA-approved meat product.
Hope of Resurgence in Quality Horror Takes Another...
Mark Romanek, in a fight over budget and apparently little faith by Universal, has walked away from The Wolf Man, his Benicio Del Toro-starring reboot of the classic monster Stephen Sommers attempted to ice permanently with Van Helsing. After Sommers’ epic failure, Universal changed their mindset and moved away from tent-pole pictures to more mid-range, high-profit ventures, such as Bourne...
"Falling Slowly" remains eligible for the Academy... →
And stands a surprisingly good chance against Enchanted x3 and Robin Williams’ hairy ballad.
"Truly, the address was a firm, sure-footed and... →
The Daily Show writers offer their… unique spin on the State of the Union.
“I think doing the cameo in ‘Tokyo Drift’ confirmed a lot of things for me.”
– Vin Diesel. It confirmed that the well was tapped so he’s returning to the source: Fast and the Furious 4-Evah, co-starring Paul Walker. Now the circle is complete.
“It’s like a rabbi addressing a Christian church, speaking in Hebrew. No...”
– Kirstie Alley, defending Tom Cruise’s infamous Scientology video, not realizing the brou-ha-ha-has are because we understand the words coming out of his mouth all too well. And who dug up Kirstie for a quote? Wasn’t she placed in a box next to the Ark after Veronica’s Closet?...
'I like "Family Guy" because it isn't all preachy'
In a piece of “fair and balanced” reporting, the NY Times claims economic growth under Bush an “envy of most presidents.” Now, the article couches this claim in the perspective that the growing recession and quagmire (giggady) in Iraq will cloud the positively peachy economy under Heir Bush.
Luckily, Paul Krugman (a man who makes economics fun!) rides to reason’s...
10 Things I Hate About Cobra
In a move good for no one’s mental health or visual/auditory well-being, Stephen Sommers (the man who proved the auteur theory with The Mummy Returns) has cast his leader for G.I. Joe: none other than dance film castoff Channing Tatum. Tatum, a remarkably clean-cut kid who creates the image of “tuff enuf” with wife beaters, joins a Joe Becomes Eclectic cast of Sienna Miller (the...
Only one more year. I mean, how much more could go wrong in 12 months?
I Got F*d in the A
Does this mean I have to prepare to dance?
No Place for Snubs?
With a win last night at the DGA awards for “Best Feature (Musical or Comedy)” adding to its momentum, No Country for Old Men could steam roll into the Oscars the favorite, though Clayton still lingers in the bushes, hoping to do something more than watch.
The real question here: will No Country be the movie for which people remember the Coen Brothers, or will it continue to be their...
Obama wins South Carolina by a statistical "fuck... →
Bill gives the concession speech while Hillary focuses on Florida and the “other 22 states” (ironically the exact same approach as Giuliani). The win means a landfall for journalists sitting on “it’s a race again!” articles while the NY Times rethinks their backing of Hil.
Obama gets officially annointed by the Kennedys,... →
"Cloverfield" fails at the box office like the US... →
The Friday-to-Saturday drop last weekend was apparently due to bad word of mouth. The film will have lost roughly 70% weekend-to-weekend. That’s worse than Burton’s Planet of the Apes, for Zeus’ sake.
"Sweded" "Be Kind Rewind" Trailer written,... →
Apparently Jack Black is utterly incoherent to Gondry as he cannot reproduce any of his lines clearly.
Was not aware “late” had become an appropriate parting salutation.
Duplass Bros.' "Baghead" picked up by Sony... →
While the premise doesn’t sound wildly original or visual, after Puffy Chair I’m looking forward to seeing them expand beyond their mumblecore roots.
Clips from "Assassination of a High School... →
It’s like Brick, minus the panache and brains but plus Mischa Barton.
The top looks so small from here
Knocked Up, which is basically a revenge fantasy, is at least cathartic in its humorously blatant misogyny. Waitress, written and directed by Adrienne Shelly (herself a martyr to male brutality), is only pathetic … Juno, which was written by a woman and has become something of a fetish (albeit mainly among male film critics), is positively creepy.
J. Hoberman, The Village Voice
With the...
I’m so bored at work I just read an LA Times headline about the search for a skier and asked myself, “What’s a sky-er?”
"Mad Men," "Ant-Man" up and running as Lionsgate... →
NEWSFLASH: Everyone Upset By Compromised Relief... →
It’s bad when my nitwit boss has more of a clear head: “Take that money and freeze mortgage rates. $600 won’t even buy you a plasma screen tv. What the fuck are you going to do with that? Make sure people’s mortgage rates don’t double in a month and they’ll be more willing to spend.”
Mmm, quirky but with a hint of melancholy
Cinematical has clips from Smart People, a new comedy screaming indie at the top of its lungs, with a cast of Ellen Page (who, surprisingly, is quick-witted and sharp), an ironically mustachioed Thomas Hayden Church, and Dennis Quaid, whose LMS beard completes the Fox Searchlight Trifecta. Expect this Oscar-nominated flick to open wide in the fall.
J.J. Abrams sets up next film for which he'll... →
But then again, he did an awesome job writing and directing Cloverfield.
Rumbling
Even though this rumor still lives in the magical land of conjecture, JoBlo has heard murmurs that the director for the next Jack Ryan (Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger, the Ben Affleck one) talkie/actioner may be none other than Mr. Fernando Meirelles, helmer of City of God, The Constant Gardener, and the upcoming adaptation of Blindness (a book that restored my faith in the power of...