March 2008
107 posts
Reason I rescheduled my Mac genius meeting from...
There is never a time where I think, “Yeah, I want to go to The Grove.” Minus ten for making a lousy The Grove sucks joke.
February 2008
140 posts
WatchNew Iron Man trailer shows different things from what we’ve seen before, and successfully ups the superhero action and acting ante.
“You hunted 360,000 pounts of meat. You can only carry 80 pounds.”
– talby: The good ol’e days of farming.
I thought those were the good ol’ days of Oregon Trail.
WatchThe above The Love Guru trailer contains no less than three jokes at the expense of Verne Troyer’s height (or lack thereof). Apparently Mike Meyers has not decided to rebound from the Austin Powers/Shrek slums with a blazingly original comic effort. Though a black man playing hockey for Toronto is pretty out there. (via JoBlo)
"The Last Mimzy" proves more prophetic than Bob...
And so the company whose logo I first remembered as a child (I always got excited when I saw the “ladders” because a chance existed that it might be a Turtles movie) will follow the paths of Hollywood Pictures, United Artists (a couple of times though recently resurrected), and countless others as New Line closes its doors. For years people have predicted the absorption of New Line...
Confirmed Cannibalism
Gerard Butler has officially signed onto star in Tales of the Black Freighter, the comic within a comic for the DVD extras of Watchmen… as the narrator. Rather than 300 style, Black Freighter will follow the paths of fellow WB products Animatrix and Batanime as an anime-style segment. While the style of 300 caused me great gastric distress and boredom, Black Freighter could work great as a...
Son of "Jedi" asked to direct live-action "Star...
Apparently the originally planned 100 $1,000,000 one hour-long episodes (damned near binary with all those ones) may not convey the whole story between Episodes III and IV so the idea of 400 EPISODES is on the table. The man couldn’t fill six movies competently. What in the hell is he gonna do for 400 EPISODES? If The Simpsons can’t do it, George Lucas doesn’t stand a chance...
Thought I was out of the woods, but not quite.
A Mr. Buttle
With a large national security issue on the table with Bush’s wiretap bill and immunity for telecom companies, both Democratic candidates have a chance to show rather than tell. Will the dynamic duo, and Democrats on the whole, fold as they always do in the face of “weak on terror” threats? Or will they finally call the president on his continued bluff and take a stance against...
NY Times - "1 in 100 U.S. Adults Behind Bars" →
If that seems high, wait for the ratio of former athletes in prison if Congress follows through on its perjury threats.
Oh, really. Taxpayers plan to put the care package rebates into savings accounts or into paying down debts rather than letting the money trickle down into consumer spending. Hmm. What a surprise.
“Beating on the press is the lamest thing you can do. It is only because of the...”
– Or, Ms. Dowd, it could be the fact that in terms of real delegates she trails after those 11 losses by about a hundred. Sorry to let those pesky facts get in the way of your blind rage towards the Senator and your general overall incompetence.
And a new "Get Smart" trailer. →
As a big shout-out to E to the C.
"Step Brothers" trailer. →
John C. Reilly looks in pitch-perfect Boogie Nights mode while children everywhere get to enact their revenge for Kicking and Screaming. Could this be incredible? (Probably not, but it’s got to be better than Talladega Nights.)
Where the Wild Things Aren't
The Bros. Warner have set a new release date for Spike Jonze’s Where the Wild Things Are. Originally slated to drop in October 2008, they have re-set the date as October… 2009. As the /Film article speculates, that is a (scientifically speaking) fuckload of time. VFX still need work, but a full year’s worth? Something’s getting reshot. (Thanks to Trevor)
Included on The Darjeeling Limited DVD: Meet the Onion Movie (2005) as it receives its (seemingly well-warranted) unceremonious DVD dump. At least they learned their lesson before starting the Onion News Network.
Million Dollar Shoes, Baby
Although I by no means endorse the writing abilities of Oscar-winner Diablo Cody, the nude photos that leaked online today leave a bad taste in my mouth with their peculiar timing and very existence on the internet.
On the mainstream press side, I get it; she was a stripper (in the same way Prince Harry was in the army). On the Egotastic side, I don’t get it; this seems a little mean,...
"Same!" doesn't have the same ring to it
This week’s Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me featured a barrage of attacks launched at the “cult of personality” surrounding Barack Obama as well as the purveyor of parenthood, Paula Poundstone, nearly choking at the mention of the word “change.” They then went on to rip into Mac users for being self-centered following a study that branded Apple-heads as arrogant...
I think therefore I regret
When the ultimate existential hero springs to life and swims away into ever-darkening waters as Moby plays, I beamed as a number three finally capped the series with a satisfying conclusion following a riveting ride. At the time, Damon and Greengrass claimed that they had finished the Bourne story, but of course money means sequels so talk of they’re both signing for a fourth Bourne (The...
I love how whenever someone posts an SNL video now they have to say “it’s actually funny.”
I’m all right with that.
“Think about this: at this moment, “Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins” has...”
– CHUD in their depressing weekend wrap-up. Juno’s over 130.
"Movies with heart, and soul."
When Michel Gondry follows his own movie’s advice and imbues Be Kind Rewind (2008) with the cavalier spirit and heart of its characters and their low-fi moviemaking techniques, the film reaches artistic and emotional heights that few filmmakers can dream of touching. However, the leaden, poorly written/edited first act starts the film rolling in the wrong direction as it has none of the...
Trailer for "Star Wars: Clone Wars" →
Today, for the first time really, I feel like an adult: I watched a Star Wars tease and couldn’t care less about anything I saw. Oh, wait, does that make me an adult or disaffected teen?
"Cody to Wear Million Dollar Shoes to Oscars" →
The article makes sure to note Cody’s status as a former stripper, donchaknow. There’s a joke in here somewhere about stilettos, but I can’t find it.
Paint It Black
A cast list that includes Cary “Princely” Elwes, David “Monica” Arquette, Orlando “7UP” Jones, and Ann “Old as Salt” Margaret sounds prim-o direct to DVD territory, especially with recently defrocked Lindsay “I Know Who Killed” Lohan joining the cast. Except Ye Olde Times has always been a Jack Black vehicle. Black, following a string...
Exactly how many “origins” are we getting here?
Dominic cannot escape the sci-fi/fantasy ghetto.
Uh, Geffen, just saying… I don’t think a Neil LaBute play should really be the center of a “girls’ night out.”
Deconstructed! That’s the word I was looking for!
Trailer for Henry Selick's "Coraline." →
The Neil Gaiman movie he chose over Wes Anderson’s Fantastic Mr. Fox. The combination of claymation, 3D, Monsters Inc. atmosphere, and Pan’s Labyrinth set-up could form the perfect cult concoction (unless some suits get scared and want to re-shoot it).
I wish I could remember the word I want to use...
The ultimate post-modern comic book movie question: will Simon Pegg play the character fashioned after him in Garth Ennis’ The Boys film adaptation? The convoluted structure of the question intimates the Kaufman-esque depth of this paradox. A more interesting movie (though The Boys could be an interesting dissection of superhero lore if the movie hews closer to the idea of the books rather...
In which I write a non-lyrical ode
One day all of my friends will be bookmarks: Molly enlightened me (via her professional business card) on the existence of the blog where she handles the titanic credit of “contributing editor,” thisrecording. I immediately rushed home and became acutely aware of how much smarter Molly is than me. Thisrecording takes the time to breathe and exhale in its close examination of subjects...
When @lonelysandwich asked me the release date of Be Kind Rewind, I told him March or April as it had got pushed back from January. Imagine my elation to realize it opens Friday against Bourne’s Vantage Point and Larry the Cable Guy’s next piece de resistance Witless Protection. This weekend just got 100% more cool and 25% more kitsch.
Gilliam? Cuaron? Del Toro? No, let’s keep using the TV guy for the last Potter film. Forget epic. Give me only close-ups.
They ain't here
The Warner Brothers (sans sister Dot following that infamous 2002 buyout) have a slight history of, oh, let’s say, fucking with works they don’t understand. They reshot the entirety of The Exorcist: Beginning to create two equally putrid prequels. Criminally, they cut, re-cut, and re-re-cut The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford before finally dumping it last year...
A good comic book movie?
The graphic novel Black Hole by Charles Burns offers a very visual, very dark twist on the coming-of-age/morality high school tale, and if any man defines visual and twisted it’s David Fincher. The man who finally calmed down with Zodiac could be the perfect fit for the brooding, angst-ridden, Cronenbergian adolescent fable, and he may create the best comic book movie since Cronenberg.
I’d never before considered $600 not enough for what I need at Staples. I feel like a schmuck because no one should ever spend over a hundred schamolies at a Staples; it’s Best Buy and Target’s illegitimate, drunken mistake.
Wish I were lying to blog
The person in the annals of Fox in charge of DVD featurettes has a nice little joke for the Juno DVD: “Honest to Blog! Creating Juno.“ Even the behind-the-scenes material manages to grate while trying too hard.
Apparently that "Wild Things" clip was test... →
If that’s the starting point, I can’t even imagine where they ended.