April 2008
102 posts
Whenever I tossed carefully placed my backpack with my laptop safely stowed inside into my car, I would think, “Wow, I would so much rather my car get stolen than my laptop.”
And, you know what, I was right.
"Cocaine is a wonderful drug"
The rest of the time you find yourself smiling at some of the bits, wincing through many, many others, and ultimately wondering if the pacing would’ve improved had either H or K developed a terrible cocaine habit.-Chicago Tribune movie critic Michael Philips It takes a certain amount of gumption that can only be provided by a legitimate movie critic to suggest that the problem plaguing the...
Anti-gay t-shirts okay in public schools. →
Just as long as you stand for the pledge.
New York Times: Indiana hates change →
“We are manufacturing workers, farmers, beer drinkers, gun owners, pickup drivers,” said Karen Lasley, 64, who was volunteering on Wednesday morning in SenatorHillary Rodham Clinton’s field office in Kokomo, [“all categories the working class Hillary Rodham Clinton falls into.”]
An infantile penile post
Molly was nice enough to post my meanderings on my penis predilection. Take a gander if you’d like, and don’t worry. ”This Recording” will return to its traditionally top-notch standards once its king returns from the land of Denton.
“I would like to point out that in popular votes, as in, how many people have...”
– Racki, in the comments. Actually, David, while that’s the story the Clinton campaign attempts to swing, she only leads in the popular vote if you count Michigan (where Obama was not on the ballot) and Florida (where both Democratic candidates had promised not to campaign, though Hillary still...
While Jason Bateman always excites me, and the premise + Peter Berg seems solid, Will Smith still manages to make me squeamish about Hancock (nee Tonight, He Comes) with his patented “Aw, [shit].” Though “Aw, hell no” fails to make an appearance.
Since the best parts of Son of Rambow involve animation, and his adaptation of Hitchhiker’s Guide feels like a feature-length Merry Melodies in some ways, news that Garth Jennings’ next project will take place purely within the animated realm brings me the joy I had before seeing Rambow (and not the melancholia of disappointment felt shortly thereafter).
"When are they going to get to the Muppets...
Jonah Hill and Russell Brand are linking together Voltron style with Forgetting Sarah Marshall director Nick Stoller for Get Him to the Greek, a “dirty Almost Famous” as opposed to a lame frat comedy. Hill will play the straight-man while Brand plays his Marshall character. This film heaps on top of Stoller’s reunion with Jason Segel on Five-Year...
One problem with eating at a diner whilst reading
Sometimes when I bite down, it hurts, and I realize, “Oh, that’s a toothpick, not a french fry.”
The bearded fellow next to me at the diner
Who the hell says “six out of a hundred” out loud? Especially when discussing birth control methods?
More absurdly cute "Wall*E" fun. →
Happy Made-Up Holiday Day!
Chan or Penis?
Despite writing and starring in an emotionally honest and honestly funny movie, Jason Segel could not propel his shaggy dog Forgetting Sarah Marshall into the top spot this weekend. Because everyone apparently finally got that for which they had clamored for decades: the double bill of Li and Chan… in a pseudo-Labyrinth/Never-Ending Story framing device. Yay, America.
The engine behind the machine: the ubiquitous “U.S. Army Gen. (Ret.)” that appears on all the local morning news programs spouting the latest Bush “talking points.”
Four more years
The comments to Brooks’ glowing review of this week’s debate points to an increasingly frustrated-with-the-media public. In an age of post-consolidation and conglomeration, people have become even more untrustworthy of “main-stream media,” leading to them searching for alternate channels of information. Could this campaign be remembered as the one that started to crack...
Sorry I forgot to post this last night
The red-band trailer for Hamlet 2, this year’s “smash Sundance comedy,” hit the nets yesterday in surprisingly stilted fashion. Though I still hold out hope for Coogan’s manic performance, spoofing Shakespeare via Rice and Weber does not seem like the funniest route. And an uncomfortable amount of racism runs through the trailer because, you know, nothing funnier than a...
Too Hideous for Ugly
If you’re ready to have the ridiculousness portion of your 2000 daily calorie diet filled for the day, click on over here to see the costume tests from Stephen “Frankenstein quoting Shakespeare” Sommers’ G.I. Joe. I guess I should warn you: seeing these pictures will overload your weekly pleather, Marlon Wayans, and Dennis Quaid gut suck intakes. (via CHUD)
Not too many jobs where you walk by a goat and are expected to act like that’s the status quo.
To call tonight’s myopic debate anything resembling “good” boggles the mind. Wow, they pressed on the crucial “flag pin” issue. Ooo, they asked about Obama’s pastor. Zoinks, they pushed for promises on “no new taxes.” Executive privilege? War-mongering on terror? Combating inflation? Gearing for recession and low supplies of food? Relations...
The (debatable) design capital of the world, France may soon outlaw practices that promote unhealthy body types (read: anorexic). Though the exact measures of the bill remain hazy, an interesting and great statement on the current state of skeletal affairs.
I thought you two were separated?
Maybe it’s only the Christian ties between the two (and my broken ties), but Bush and “Papa Ben” sounded a little too similar today in their birthday celebration/attempted conservative religious crackdown. Papa Ben called for an end to so-called cafeteria Catholics and mentioned how “truth” (i.e. a Christian “God”) “guided” the founding...
Can you even believe it? →
X-Files II gets a subtitle only Fox could be proud of.
How much Beefage can you take?
Apparently, Indiana Jones and The Lost Mayan Temple of the Ark has officially clocked in at 140 minutes. Two hours and twenty minutes, thirteen minutes longer than any of the other Jones serials (Crusade hit 127). Judging by the trailer alone, the film tosses a lot of balls in the air but does it really need close to two and a half hours to juggle them into their sequel-setting places?
Grab a cold candidate
Exerting the utmost effort to provide the most in-depth and informative reports on this most important election, NPR has a new audio slideshow comparing the candidates to popular brands of coffee and beer. Will McCain be a PBR — honored ages ago but now bargain bin rubbish due to lack of innovation? Will Obama be Bud Light — refreshing without out the calories…of universal...
The Brothers Bluth are getting animated, along with the Fonz and a caveman. Only Mitch Hurwitz could pull off a coup like that.
WatchThe Onion on the adaptation of the Iron Man trailer to a feature-length film. They manage to hit so many targets oh so well. (via CHUD)
One day I hope to be mature enough to finish an entire glass of carrot juice without once making a prune face after a sip and dumping the remainder in the sink. Today is not that day.
So the usually top-notch staff at Universal took a brain fart and greenlit a third sequel to The Fast and The Furious, the film that launched Vin Diesel and Paul Walker to the heights of a third sequel to The Fast and The Furious. Having already done the number thing for the title of the first sequel (2 Fast 2 Furious) and the subtitle for the second (: Tokyo Drift, a title which still makes...
Shower Humor
This week’s tales of abashed high school shower visits on the excellent You Look Nice Today (how does one punctuate a podcast — italics? quotation marks? underline?) reminded me of an Augustinian (chapter of Catholic priests and bros.) youth trip I went on as a junior in high school. Now, at my all-guys school no one took a shower after gym class as hormones, homophobia, and...
Spielberg’s apparently the last director in Hollywood still interested in making “films.”
Go? Go?
In an ever-increasing show of decreasing faith in the Wachowski siblings big-budget adaptation of a sophomoric and beyond kitsch Japanimation series, the Warner Brothers have released yet another trailer (this of the international variety). Moreso than the litany of other teases, peeks, and snoops shows the full rainbow viewers can taste. At the very least, the cars now do look cartoonish...
Oh no, baby. →
"No. Too Jew-y."
In order to promote the new Michael Chabon book, McSweeney’s has posted Chabon’s unused (and heretofore generally unseen) draft of Spider-Man 2. If the prospect of reading the unfettered stylings of the man behind The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay working in mega-blockbuster territory doesn’t titillate, Chabon received a “story credit” so his draft should...
Rough quarter for the Sheinhardt wig company.
“There is no clear majority.”
– Zimbabwe’s deputy information officer (how Orewllian), Bright Matonga, sounds suspiciously like a certain Democratic presidential candidate in regards to the inevitability of contested election results.